My Miracle Family: Part 1

Author’s Intro: As my first birthday as a father is coming up, I have been doing a bit of thinking about life and about the birth of our daughter Kayla this past year.

With that of course comes all the thoughts about how Kayla’s birth was a long time coming … over six years in fact. And for some time now I’ve been wanting to write about it.

I haven’t figured out yet “why” I feel so compelled to write about it. I’m not sure it’s too important, and I am guessing that the “why” will eventually come to me. In the meantime, I am looking forward to writing these “My Miracle Family” articles. I hope it’s fun and enjoyable reading for you which also sheds some light in the things couples can face while dealing with fertility challenges.

Ten years (and some months) in the future …

On a nice sunny afternoon, a father is sitting on his porch enjoying a drink and reading a book. He is starting to doze off when his lovely ten year old daughter bounds in from playing in the yard and promptly plops down on his lap.

Daughter: “Daddy… ”

Daddy: (still half dozing) “Yes honey?”

Daughter: “Where do babies come from?”

Daddy opens his eyes warily. Uh oh. It’s _THE_ question. Daddy straightens up and smiles down at his daughter.

Daddy: “Well honey, that’s a good question. Let’s see… well, first two people fall in love and then decide they want to start a family….”

Daughter: “Like you and mommy! Right?”

Daddy: “Yes honey, your mommy and I love each other very much. Anyhow, so two people decide they want to start a family. They first start trying the ‘natural’ way….”

Daughter: “What’s the ‘natural’ way?”

Daddy: “Umm.. Never you mind that now, we can talk about that later. Moving on quickly now they then start trying other ways. In this case, with a doctor’s guidance, mommy starts taking drugs to stimulate her ovaries and then daddy goes into a special room with a little cup…”

Daughter: “Little cup?”

Daddy: “…and then there’s this big turkey-baster looking thing the doctor uses to put into mommy the ..ermm..contents of the little cup..”

Daughter: “What’s in the little cup?”

Daddy: “Never you mind that now. Okay so then the mommy and daddy start trying even more advanced methods where mommy has to take even more drugs to overstimulate her ovaries followed by mommy having surgery to extract her eggs…daddy then goes again into a special room with a little cup …”

Daughter: “Daddy, this doesn’t sound right..”

Daddy: “And then after that, with the mommy and daddy still are wanting to have a baby, the daddy takes a few more tests and from the results they see that a certain surgery may help the situation. So the daddy has the surgery, but they have to wait a year or so before they can try again..”

Daughter: “A whole year?”

Daddy: “Yes honey, a whole year…”

Daughter: “Daddy, this story is getting kinda long isn’t it?”

Daddy: “Well, honey, it was quite a long story for this specific mommy and daddy. There were years of natural attempts, IUI attempts, IVF attempts, not to mention the surgery and recovery for the daddy. But after the surgery, this mommy and daddy were full of hope for their third IVF attempt. They went to a new doctor who had some new ideas, though one of those ideas included daddy having to give mommy shots in her butt cheek every night for like three WHOLE weeks… with a big two-inch long needle.. This daddy couldn’t even poke a boba drink with a straw properly and here he was having to give shots into mommy’s butt… but I digress…because finally the big day came for mommy to get her eggs extracted again, so mommy had the surgery again …”

Daughter: “And then daddy went into the special room with a little cup?”

Daddy: “Umm.. yes, honey. Daddy then went into the special room with a little cup. This was followed by days, weeks and even months of prayers as six little teeny weenie super tiny babies were transferred back into mommy. Then mommy and daddy prayed and prayed that hopefully just one of those teeny tiny babies could latch on and claw on to mommy’s uterus and hang on like there was no tomorrow. And then their prayers were answered …because nine months later this mommy and daddy were blessed with a little miracle.”

Daughter: “A miracle?”

Daddy: “Yes, a miracle. And we named that miracle Kayla”

Daughter: “Hey! THAT’S ME!!!!”

Daddy: “Yes honey. That’s you.”

Well, it’s not your traditional birds and the bees talk of where babies come from…

Or maybe it soon will be, as many “birds and bees” stories these days need a little help from technology, drugs to stimulate the hormones, needles, shots, surgery, special little cups, and other little adventures.

But it is still one of the many stories that could be told today about where babies come from and how families are started. The above version just happens to be our story.

I find it interesting that even though I “knew” that there were many different ways to start a family, I didn’t really truly “KNOW” this until after our own fertility challenges. Meaning being truly aware of the various ways families can be started besides the “traditional” way of boy meets girl, boy marries girl, and the-birds-and-the-bees happen and the baby arrives. These new stories include IUI, IVF, adoption, and maybe even other ways I’m not exposed to. I just know after our own “adventures” the one thing I have to come to realize is that no matter how families are started, it definitely is a miracle.

It wasn’t always that way, my thoughts about miracle families or even my total love of being a dad weren’t always like this. There was in fact a time where I was quite hesitant to be a dad and to start a family. Which brings me to this: the point of this article (or articles) is not so much about being a dad, but rather the challenges of starting a family and the miracle of becoming a family, and for me the miracle of BECOMING a dad.

Again, I’m not sure why I personally am writing these. Maybe it’s just to record my thoughts for posterity. Or maybe it is just to get the word out to those couples who went through what we went through that you’re definitely not alone. I’m sure there will be many “why” reasons I’ll discover during my writing. In the meantime, I hope it’s both educational and fun reading for all of you.

End Part 1 …..

Want more info on IVF pregnancies and infertility treatments? Check out more of Ben’s articles. Emil “Ben” Yau is an engineer, blogger, dance teacher, and after six years of fertility challenges, a proud father. Thankful for his new family, Ben enjoys writing about their first hand experiences with fertility challenges.