What Can Be Done About Fear Of Intimacy

January 12, 2010 by Neil Redfern  
Filed under pregnancy

Romantic relationships between two adults can be complicated and when there is a fear of intimacy, the relationship might be over before it starts. Fear of intimacy often comes from people not trusting other people or the fear of getting too close emotionally. This will affect adults and hinder them from having personal relationships with other people.

It is not actually the intimacy itself that people fear. If people could be guaranteed that intimacy would continue to be a positive experience, they would have no fear of it. What they fear is the possibility of getting hurt as a result of being intimate with another.

You must first understand the fear of intimacy before you can overcome it. When you have a fear of intimacy you are reluctant to open up and reveal your true self, maybe it is because you were hurt in the past. Possibly, you grew up in an emotionally and socially closed environment and never learned how to be vulnerable to friends or lovers. Now you have a hard time opening up. This is fear of intimacy. We’ve all had a thousand tiny betrayals where we have been hurt or betrayed by loved ones in a big or small way. We are naturally reluctant to open ourselves up again no matter if the pain was accidental or deliberate. The fright of not wanting to get hurt will lead to an extreme fear of intimacy.

To overcome the fear of intimacy, you have to use some courage and reveal yourself more to others. It is vital that you tell some hidden secrets to your friends and be honest about how you feel. Be yourself!

You talk about what’s going on in your life, how you really feel and what you really think. You reveal what’s important to you, which builds trust in your relationship. You don’t play games, such as expecting your partner to read your mind or dropping hints instead of saying what you really mean. You may still have a fear of intimacy, but you’re honest about it.

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