My Miracle Family: Part 1

Author’s Intro: As my first birthday as a father is coming up, I have been doing a bit of thinking about life and about the birth of our daughter Kayla this past year.

With that of course comes all the thoughts about how Kayla’s birth was a long time coming … over six years in fact. And for some time now I’ve been wanting to write about it.

I haven’t figured out yet “why” I feel so compelled to write about it. I’m not sure it’s too important, and I am guessing that the “why” will eventually come to me. In the meantime, I am looking forward to writing these “My Miracle Family” articles. I hope it’s fun and enjoyable reading for you which also sheds some light in the things couples can face while dealing with fertility challenges.

Ten years (and some months) in the future …

On a nice sunny afternoon, a father is sitting on his porch enjoying a drink and reading a book. He is starting to doze off when his lovely ten year old daughter bounds in from playing in the yard and promptly plops down on his lap.

Daughter: “Daddy… ”

Daddy: (still half dozing) “Yes honey?”

Daughter: “Where do babies come from?”

Daddy opens his eyes warily. Uh oh. It’s _THE_ question. Daddy straightens up and smiles down at his daughter.

Daddy: “Well honey, that’s a good question. Let’s see… well, first two people fall in love and then decide they want to start a family….”

Daughter: “Like you and mommy! Right?”

Daddy: “Yes honey, your mommy and I love each other very much. Anyhow, so two people decide they want to start a family. They first start trying the ‘natural’ way….”

Daughter: “What’s the ‘natural’ way?”

Daddy: “Umm.. Never you mind that now, we can talk about that later. Moving on quickly now they then start trying other ways. In this case, with a doctor’s guidance, mommy starts taking drugs to stimulate her ovaries and then daddy goes into a special room with a little cup…”

Daughter: “Little cup?”

Daddy: “…and then there’s this big turkey-baster looking thing the doctor uses to put into mommy the ..ermm..contents of the little cup..”

Daughter: “What’s in the little cup?”

Daddy: “Never you mind that now. Okay so then the mommy and daddy start trying even more advanced methods where mommy has to take even more drugs to overstimulate her ovaries followed by mommy having surgery to extract her eggs…daddy then goes again into a special room with a little cup …”

Daughter: “Daddy, this doesn’t sound right..”

Daddy: “And then after that, with the mommy and daddy still are wanting to have a baby, the daddy takes a few more tests and from the results they see that a certain surgery may help the situation. So the daddy has the surgery, but they have to wait a year or so before they can try again..”

Daughter: “A whole year?”

Daddy: “Yes honey, a whole year…”

Daughter: “Daddy, this story is getting kinda long isn’t it?”

Daddy: “Well, honey, it was quite a long story for this specific mommy and daddy. There were years of natural attempts, IUI attempts, IVF attempts, not to mention the surgery and recovery for the daddy. But after the surgery, this mommy and daddy were full of hope for their third IVF attempt. They went to a new doctor who had some new ideas, though one of those ideas included daddy having to give mommy shots in her butt cheek every night for like three WHOLE weeks… with a big two-inch long needle.. This daddy couldn’t even poke a boba drink with a straw properly and here he was having to give shots into mommy’s butt… but I digress…because finally the big day came for mommy to get her eggs extracted again, so mommy had the surgery again …”

Daughter: “And then daddy went into the special room with a little cup?”

Daddy: “Umm.. yes, honey. Daddy then went into the special room with a little cup. This was followed by days, weeks and even months of prayers as six little teeny weenie super tiny babies were transferred back into mommy. Then mommy and daddy prayed and prayed that hopefully just one of those teeny tiny babies could latch on and claw on to mommy’s uterus and hang on like there was no tomorrow. And then their prayers were answered …because nine months later this mommy and daddy were blessed with a little miracle.”

Daughter: “A miracle?”

Daddy: “Yes, a miracle. And we named that miracle Kayla”

Daughter: “Hey! THAT’S ME!!!!”

Daddy: “Yes honey. That’s you.”

Well, it’s not your traditional birds and the bees talk of where babies come from…

Or maybe it soon will be, as many “birds and bees” stories these days need a little help from technology, drugs to stimulate the hormones, needles, shots, surgery, special little cups, and other little adventures.

But it is still one of the many stories that could be told today about where babies come from and how families are started. The above version just happens to be our story.

I find it interesting that even though I “knew” that there were many different ways to start a family, I didn’t really truly “KNOW” this until after our own fertility challenges. Meaning being truly aware of the various ways families can be started besides the “traditional” way of boy meets girl, boy marries girl, and the-birds-and-the-bees happen and the baby arrives. These new stories include IUI, IVF, adoption, and maybe even other ways I’m not exposed to. I just know after our own “adventures” the one thing I have to come to realize is that no matter how families are started, it definitely is a miracle.

It wasn’t always that way, my thoughts about miracle families or even my total love of being a dad weren’t always like this. There was in fact a time where I was quite hesitant to be a dad and to start a family. Which brings me to this: the point of this article (or articles) is not so much about being a dad, but rather the challenges of starting a family and the miracle of becoming a family, and for me the miracle of BECOMING a dad.

Again, I’m not sure why I personally am writing these. Maybe it’s just to record my thoughts for posterity. Or maybe it is just to get the word out to those couples who went through what we went through that you’re definitely not alone. I’m sure there will be many “why” reasons I’ll discover during my writing. In the meantime, I hope it’s both educational and fun reading for all of you.

End Part 1 …..

Want more info on IVF pregnancies and infertility treatments? Check out more of Ben’s articles. Emil “Ben” Yau is an engineer, blogger, dance teacher, and after six years of fertility challenges, a proud father. Thankful for his new family, Ben enjoys writing about their first hand experiences with fertility challenges.

What You Should Know About IVF

IVF in Australia in 2010 continues to be an area of interest for the community at large as well as the many couples who are struggling with their fertility and need help to achieve pregnancy and a baby of their own. Fortunately for Australians, IVF costs are subsidised by the Government, making IVF fees more affordable. IVF success rates in Australia continue to be amongst the highest in the world.

IVF has come a long way since the birth of the first IVF baby, British-born Louise Brown, 30 years ago. Nearly 10,000 IVF babies were born in Australia last year from IVF pregnancies and in excess of 80,000 since the birth of Australia’s first IVF baby, Candice Reed in 1980. It is unlikely that we will see a single breakthrough of IVF’s magnitude in reproductive science again in our lifetimes.

Assisted Reproductive Technologies, which includes ovulation induction, IUI and IVF, is in an area of growing demand, as Australians delay starting a family which impacts on fertility.

The decision to start a family later in life is more often than not a choice dictated by societal changes. Many women in their 30s do not have children because they do not have a partner, and a stable relationship and a good income are the most important prerequisites for starting a family, according to a study conducted by the Fertility Society of Australia.

So what is involved in IVF? Hundreds of women seek fertility treatment in IVF clinics and IVF Centres around Australia every day. There are two types of cycles involved in IVF treatment – known as agonist and antagonist. The difference between the cycles is time – the agonist cycle is shorter.

Treatment involves taking hormones to stimulate the ovaries to produce eggs. Eggs are collected from the ovaries using ultrasound-guided transvaginal needle aspiration. These eggs are placed in a dish with a large number of sperm allowing fertilisation to occur, and some of these eggs go on to form embryos. These embryos cam be transferred back into the uterus using a small plastic tube and some can be frozen and stored for future transfer. The embryo then implants itself in the uterus. Sometimes, intracytoplasmic sperm injection, or ICSI is used. This is a different, more sophisticated form of IVF where the scientist injects a single sperm into the egg. This technique is an excellent treatment if the sperm is of poor quality.

So what does the future hold for Assisted Reproductive Technologies?

The immediate future will involve refinement of the assisted conception technology to make IVF easier, including advanced techniques to fertilise eggs with one single sperm, developing molecular selection techniques to pick out the best embryos and sperm, for treatment. Research into fertility preservation, such as egg freezing, and ovary and testicular tissue preservation, is ongoing

Early in the 21st Century we are exploring the use of embryonic stem cells in the hope of enabling human beings to grow whole new organs. Looking further into the future we can foresee the use of stem cell technology to create artificial gametes (egg and sperm) and help men and women who have no eggs or sperm of their own have their own genetic children.

The possibilities for IVF and assisted conception into the future have yet to find a limit.

Ivf Australia is a fertility centre with excellence in fertility care. Visit www.ivf.com.au to learn about their superior specialist care, success rates, personalised treatment, in-house services, in-house departments, our network of fertility clinics, affordability and quality assurance.